I would say do not delay Hajj because I have a feeling that subsequent years will become more and more difficult, not just because of the rising temperatures, but other complications.  Sisters, let your husbands go for Hajj if they have the ability, even if you cannot go.  It’s not just helping them fulfill their obligation, but having that extra experience is a plus for when in sha Allah you both go as a couple.  As for taking children, I would say that it’s not an issue about whether or not YOU will be able to handle Hajj and taking care of kids.  The problem is really if the kids themselves can handle it.  I’ve seen parents bring along their children, and I never felt sorry for the parents; I felt sorry for the kids because they don’t have the ability to handle it, many becoming terribly ill.  There is wisdom in Allah stipulating that one must have the ability to perform Hajj—and I would say that this also applies to others beyond you, such as your children.

When choosing a Hajj Package, I highly recommend going to Madinah first.  You could avoid at least one leg of the long bus trip, and also avoid the confusion of exiting and re-entering the Meeqaat and being in the state of Ihraam.  I would not recommend making Ta’ajjal (leaving on the 12th of Dhul-Hijjah); it’s better to stay until the 13th, and that way you avoid all the rush and chaos that is common on the 12th.

From the perspective of the Ummah, this was finally a chance to see what state the Ummah is really in instead of hearing about it.  To me, the most poignant test for the health of this Ummah was really the Salat al-Istis’qaa’ incident.  For many readers, when I narrate about this incident, it doesn’t seem like a big deal, but I was surprised to find how much I had learned and benefited from this event and how it had changed my perspective on a lot of things regarding the Ummah.  I believe that the day I cried when the Imam mentioned this in his Khutbah on the Day of ‘Arafah, that was perhaps the first time I really cried for the Ummah and felt this intense grief and sadness.   It wasn’t just the fact that it didn’t rain, but the major issue was how little people actually cared.  Sure, Muslims today do not care about a lot of things and are in a state of Ghafl that is going to be difficult to get out of.  But more specifically, at least in the past, perhaps an effort was made to figure out WHY it may not have rained—it was a time for the Muslim community to reflect within themselves and repent from their sins; and they didn’t give up.  But today, you don’t find people doing that, and it’s not simply that they do not care, but also that they may not even realize that there is a problem.  Also, as I mentioned regarding this incident earlier, there is such an atmosphere of doubt hanging over the heads of Muslims regarding practice of the Sunnah that it sometimes made me wonder… are we really, truly, satisfied as Muhammad (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) as our Prophet?  Allahul-Musta’aan.

However, do not get me wrong—it’s not that I returned from Hajj only to become even more critical of the Ummah.  Rather, at the same time I found that an intense love for Muslims also develops in your heart during and after Hajj.  You find yourself a more patient and tolerant, and more merciful and loving with your brothers and sisters.  You learn that you should never, ever belittle a Muslim, and that the honor of a Muslim is a precious thing indeed.

I would have to say that no one truly has the ability to perform Hajj.  You may be wondering what I mean by this!  When I returned home, and reflected about the different situations we were in, I thought to myself, “How did I get through all of that?”  And I didn’t really.  No one truly has the ability and strength to bear all of the hardships and challenges of Hajj—it is Allah that gives you that ability.  All the patience and strength you gather throughout the journey has only one source, and when you realize that you could truly say from the bottom of your heart:  La hawla wa la quwwata illaa billaah.

In conclusion, I am grateful to Allah to have had the ability to share this experience this way.  Once again, it really was for myself, to sort my thoughts, to record these precious memories I’ll cherish for the rest of my life, but if anyone has derived benefit from this account and whatever is in it that is sound and good, it is surely a blessing from Allah (swt), and whatever errors are found there in, it is verily Shaytan’s influence on me to commit these errors.

May Allah accept our good deeds, Ameen.

I suppose I did not get a chance to really feel sad about the departure.  Actually, I was anxious to return home.  But the thought which preoccupied me the most was that my Hajj was not actually complete yet.  One major pillar, performance of Tawaaf al-Ifaadhah remained and until then, my Hajj was no Hajj at all.  The problem was, I think I was the only one who had not yet performed it, and the only one who had intended to combine this intention with the intention of Tawaaf al-Wadaa’ at the same time.  So while people would need time for only Tawaaf al-Wadaa’, I needed extra time to do not just the Tawaaf, but perform Sa’ee as well.  So it was critical for me to reach the Haram in time to perform these last few rites and still make it in time to leave for Jeddah…and finally home.

Originally, I had planned to accompany my husband to the Jamaraat that day, but that plan was quickly set aside for another.  Those who were to go to the Jamaraat were then going to walk to the Haram, which takes about an hour and a half.  When I heard that was the plan, I decided to back out knowing I probably wouldn’t be able to tolerate the heat and the exhaustion.  I really wanted to save all my energy for that last Tawaaf and Sa’ee, especially on a day when the crowds would probably be at their maximum.  My husband was to throw the stones for me, instead.  Therefore, our group of 25 people, those who were boarding this first flight back to Frankfurt, Germany, were to be divided into two groups:  the first group would be going to the Jamaraat and proceeding to the Haram from there.  The second group consisted of a handful of people, including myself, who had others to throw on their behalf, and they would be taken back to ‘Aziziyah.  Once news that the first group had arrived at the Haraam reached us, it was only then we would be taken to perform Tawaaf at the same time as them.

However, I think this was not a very good plan at all, and throughout those critical hours while my husband was at the Jamaraat, he kept text messaging me saying we should leave for the Haram, NOW.  Crowds were at their peak and we needed to have as much time as possible.  When we were taken to ‘Aziziyah, it was just after 11am, I believe.  It wasn’t until after 4pm that we left for the Haram!  Not just that, but those who went to the Jamaraat and then proceeded to the Haram on foot faced a crowd so thick that instead of taking just 1.5 hours to reach the Haram, it took three hours.  So I believe my group wasted time waiting in ‘Aziziyah, and my husband’s group wasted time walking to the Haram.  But this was the Qadr of Allah, and only now do I realize it was a huge blessing because this was now MY moment:  the moment where you suddenly feel your Hajj will not be complete.  For my husband, it was his illness, for others it could be a variety of different things.  I recall the story of a doctor who had intended Hajj one year, only to reach Germany and be turned back!  Not just that, but the following year, he had intended Hajj once more, and again upon reaching Germany he was turned back.  So it seems that almost everyone goes through this phase, and this day was to be my turn.  My husband comforted me by saying not to worry, and if we miss our flight, it’s ok, there will be another flight we can catch and I should just do what I need to do without any concern for this.  But still, I wanted to finish on time!

The plan was to be done with our Tawaaf by 6pm, maximum 7pm, head for Jeddah by 9pm, and 10pm was pushing it.  When we finally loaded our bus in ‘Aziziyah, heading for the Haram, the traffic was intense.  Because of the surging crowds, traffic moved slowly.  There was no way our driver could take us in front of the Haram for obvious reasons, so he stopped near the top of a hill overlooking the Haram and we proceeded by foot.  Our guide took us to the third floor and there my worry increased.  Performing Tawaaf on the third floor was going to take ages not just because the rounds are longer, but because it was packed with so many people.  I may be able to finish my Tawaaf, but I would have no time to perform Sa’ee.  My husband was at the Hilton with the rest of his group, resting after coming back from the Jamaraat, and was about to perform the Tawaaf, heading to the Haram.

I told my group guide that I’m breaking from the group and would be joining my husband to perform Tawaf with him.  I knew deep down if I remained with my group, things would go much slower since many of the ladies were older and there was one sister in a wheelchair.  The pace would slow down even more just because we had to remain with the group.  So while the sisters insisted I stay to avoid getting lost, I insisted I join my husband instead so I could do things quicker.  I got my guide’s cell number just in case, and broke from the group at that point.

However, with the crowd as chaotic as it was, my husband and I messaged each other saying to forget trying to meet each other—a lot of time would be wasted in just doing that, and we should just go our separate way and do things on our own.  After I performed 1.5 rounds on the third floor, I realized that the ground floor was not packed at all!  I resolved to perform Tawaaf there, and rushed down to the ground floor.   I think I went too far though because I was in an area where I could not even see the outside—it seemed like an “underground” floor, even though I was still on the ground floor.  I didn’t know which direction to go in, but alHamdulillah, I saw the direction that people were praying towards, and I ran in that direction only to get caught up in the crowd there where the pillars were at the outer rim of the ground floor.  It was crazy, subhanAllah, and there was one moment when I got crushed so badly, I felt that my breathing would stop, but alHamdulillah, I finally got through.

Once I got closer to the steps leading towards the Ka’bah, I ran into a red ribbon that was tied around the whole area.  No one was being allowed to go near the Ka’bah!  There was no way I could complete my tawaaf in that area and I didn’t want to waste time going back to the second or third floor, so I kept walking nevertheless, until it was Allah’s blessing where I found a spot where people were going under the red ribbon and there was a police officer who was letting people do it!  So I took the opportunity and finally made it to THE ground floor :)  Being alone, it was easy to just cut through the crowd and I resumed my circuits, performing each circuit in under 7 minutes, sometimes even 5.  I kept making dua’a to Allah to not just help me finish my Hajj, but to help me finish my Tawaaf before Maghrib time.  It was already 5:15pm, and the Adhaan would be called at 5:40.  Looking at the situation, it seemed almost impossible for me to finish by then, but I kept on and by Allah’s blessing, I finished my Tawaaf just about 2-3 minutes before the Adhaan was called, alHamdulillah.

I was exhausted but there was no time to rest.  Finding no place to pray except near the gate, I prayed Maghrib with a group of three sisters and afterward, proceeded to another spot to pray the 2 rak’ats one is supposed to pray behind Maqam Ibrahim.  There was no chance for that, so I just prayed wherever I found a spot.  alHamdulillah, the ZamZam coolers were just in front of me and I made dua’a to Allah to give me the energy to finish my Sa’ee now because at that moment, I was extremely exhausted.  alHamdulillah, as-Safaa was right next to me, so I proceeded with Sa’ee.  I noticed many people did not stop on the hills to make dua’a as is recommended, and while time was short, I didn’t want to omit making dua’a, even if it was a one-liner.

In no time alHamdulillah, I finished my Sa’ee, and I felt like just sitting on the steps and crying at that moment, that I had finished, that Allah had helped me complete the rights, that I finally performed Hajj!  And because Hajj is the Jihad for the Muslim woman, that made it even more special.

But there was no time and there was a flight to board.  I still had to find my husband and make my way to meet the rest of the group.  I insisted that I meet my husband at Baab ‘Abdil-’Azeez because our guide had said to meet there once we finished and it seemed like a central point for most people.  My husband said that we should meet at the Hilton towers where the rest of the group was.  However, getting there would be too much for me because the chances of the crowd pushing me in the wrong direction and then finally getting lost were too high.  I asked one of the sisters where the gate was, and she told me, “Khalf al-Ka’bah”—behind the Ka’bah.  Subhan’Allah, I would have to walk half way around, against the crowd to reach the gate.  So I made my way forward, finally reaching the gate only to find that the gate had been blocked off by a line of military soldiers who were not letting anyone enter.  So once I got out, there is no way I could get back in.  My husband was there somewhere but it was utter chaos.  He finally told me to look for a white umbrella and as soon as I spotted him, he was still searching for me :)  He grabbed my hand finally and pulled me through the crowd until we reached Ajyad Street, which is right in front of the Masjid.  We stood at an intersection and called the guide for my group and told him where we were.  We were thinking of just getting a taxi ourselves and heading to ‘Aziziyah without meeting up with the rest of the group, but our guide insisted we meet at the Hilton towers.

However, what surprised me the most was when he said, “We’re still doing Tawaaf!”  This was the group I had originally come with, and they were still finishing their tawaaf!  I couldn’t have thanked Allah and felt more relieved at that moment.  By the time DH had finished his Tawaaf, I had finished both Tawaaf and Sa’ee!

The ‘Isha Adhaan had been called and so we prayed on the street.  After Salah we proceeded to the Hilton which we could see, but was nearly impossible to reach in a short time.  The distance is not that much, but we had to walk against the direction of the crowd and what takes about 3 minutes to walk took us about half an hour.

When we finally reached the lobby of the Hilton, I saw the sisters from the rest of my group and they were surprised to see me.  When I told them that I finished Tawaaf before Maghrib, they were shocked, but agreed that they had also peered down at the ground floor and found that it really would have been easier to do Tawaaf there, but Qadr Allah.  Now, while we took a breather and had some water, the problem was that our original bus driver and gone back to ‘Aziziyah instead of waiting for us!  Apparently, there were some people who had finished their Tawaf early and he took them back, leaving the rest of us behind.  So now, we’re stuck at the Hilton, and there’s no transportation, and traffic is as crazy as ever.

Another man was there who, I believe, may have been one of the workers for our Hajj group, or simply a guide, who took us underground where many buses were loaded.  It was a very suffocating tunnel full of fumes, and of the entire journey, it was here that I experienced the most discomfort with the smog.  I was not just exhausted but unable to breathe and I really hoped the bus would come soon and we wouldn’t have to wait for too long.

Finally a bus came, and we all packed in.  Heading back to ‘Aziziyah, I kept coughing more and more, and felt really nauseous.  There was no AC in the car, and the next best thing was to keep the windows open.  But alHamdulillah, as soon as we got out of the vicinity of the Haram and into the clear streets, the air got much better.

Once we reached ‘Aziziyah, time was not on our side.  We had to board the buses immediately to leave for Jeddah in time for our flight.  It was probably 9 or 10pm by then, and my husband had literally 5 minutes to shower, get his stuff together and head out.  We boarded the buses, final announcements were made, food was handed out and the bus got going.  Usually, there is a stop at the Mutawwif’s office before heading for Jeddah, but ALHAMDULILLAH, this was taken care of while we were at the Haram, and our passports were returned back to us.

Upon reaching Jeddah, and waiting at the check-in counter, we sorted my husband’s luggage since he had no time before we left ‘Aziziyah.  We had reserved one suitcase for the 10-liter bottle of ZamZam we had purchased, and that was a big mistake :)  My husband, having done this before, thought that this is what you’re supposed to do, but we were told that every Hajji is allowed one 10-liter container of ZamZam, it should not be put in any suitcase, and although it seemed like an extra piece of luggage, it was free of charge!  At that moment, I felt really bad because I had insisted to my husband we get two containers, but he insisted on getting only one because of lack of room.

I prayed for another Miracle :)  Immediately, I made dua’a to Allah to help us get another container of ZamZam to take back home.  After doing so, I asked the employee at the check-in counter if there was any possibility of getting another ZamZam container, and he said no.  But then, he called one of the Janitors and asked him if he had stashed away an extra container that someone decided not to take with them.  To my surprise, he said, “Yes, there’s one in that corner over there!”  Now why was I surprised when Allah can do anything :)  Nevertheless, I was really happy and there alHamdulillah, we were able to get two 10-liter bottles of ZamZam to take with us:  one for my sister in law and her family, and one for us to take home.

After that, we proceeded to the gate, got freshened up and waited to board.  I think I was too exhausted at that point to think about the fact that we were leaving Saudi, our journey had come to an end, and we were headed home.  It wasn’t until we ascended the steps to our flight that I looked back and it hit me then.  What a magnificent journey, and it had all happened so quickly, as if in a dream… and it was such an unbelievable experience for me that when I finally returned to my home, I began to wonder had I gone at all…

But now the excitement was building about finally seeing the kids.  But there was worry too about going through customs and immigration.  Unfortunately, my husband gets stopped every time and questioned for several hours.   Last time he returned from Hajj, we waited for him at the gate for more than 2 hours.  But Subhan’Allah, we were pleasantly surprised to find that we were peacefully allowed to go through without any questioning!  Not just that, but we were also worried that since we had landed in Portland, OR, we had a domestic flight to catch back to Seattle.  And we didn’t know if they would carry the containers of ZamZam back as well.  Again, pleased to find that alHamdulillah, every single thing went smoothly.  And the only way I can really describe it is when perhaps you leave someone’s house after having been hosted there for dinner.  You may have parked far away, and so one of the members of the household may accompany you to your car, to make sure you get their safely.  Not just that, but they might call you once you reach home to make sure you’ve arrived safely.

Of course, for Allah is the highest and most perfect example, but it was almost like that.  Allah had invited us to His ancient House, took care of us as His guests and looked after our needs, and He returned us home, ensuring our safety and ease along the way.  He reunited us with our family and took care of our affairs while we were away from them.  Every worry was put at rest, and every need was met.  Even when we finally reached home, and our children were hungry, I had hoped we could get dinner somehow and pick up a few groceries.  SubhanAllah even after we had entered our home safely, my husband’s cousin (who had picked us up from the airport) provided us with dinner that he cooked himself and some groceries to last us the week.

And to this day, almost 1.5 weeks later, we are still feeling the affects of the blessings and generosity of our Rabb upon us.  It’s either that, or this journey taught us to look more closely at the positive side of things and the abundant blessings we’ve been showered with.

At Muzdalifah, Maghrib and ‘Isha is to be performed combined.  Too bad there was a bit of confusion because there were so many Jamaats going on at the same time, it was easy to get the Adhan, Iqamah, or recitation of the Salah confused.  You  might be following your Imam one moment, and another Imam the next!  I had made sure to perform Wudhoo’ and be ready for Salah at ‘Arafah to avoid the bathrooms (and fighting in front of them) at Muzdalifah.  After prayer, we were provided with a light snack, which I put away for later.  I wanted to sleep as soon as possible instead.

The weather in Muzdalifah, as I said in my previous post, was a pleasant surprise.  There was not a single breeze, and the weather was neither cold, nor hot.  It was just perfect.  And things were so still, it was just like sleeping under a tent!  What an enormous blessing this was, and I thought about my husband and how relieved he must be!  However I was scared to find that in the middle of the night, my throat was starting to get very sore, as if I was coming down with a very serious flu.  I immediately grabbed my supplements and vitamins, hoping things don’t get worse.  One of my doctors had given me this really amazing raw Honey paste that worked wonders!  I highly recommend those who go for Hajj to take this along with them, or at least the pill version, because if you take it even once, within a few hours your symptoms would be relieved.  And they’re not just good for cold and flu symptoms but also stomach upsets and all those discomforts related to it.  And being raw honey, is it any surprise?  For those interested, go to your nearest health food store (such as WholeFoods or Wild Oats) and look for “Propolis, Raw Honey Paste.”  Another good buy is Grapefruit Seed Extract, which comes in capsule form, which is also good for getting rid of stomach bugs which cause stomach upset and diarhea.  You can even pour the powder into your drinking water if you are doubtful about it.  These two supplements came in extremely handy.  I ended up giving some to many people in my group—sisters with diarhea or upset stomach, and even children who were having bad fevers and vomitting.  alHamdulillah, we were not inflicted with any of these hardships.

Anyway, alHamdulillah, when I woke up for Fajr, I was fine and the sore throat was gone too.  I think everytime I drank something cold, I would start to feel sick and this is to be expected.  Another piece of advice is never to drink cold water on the journey, anytime.  Cold drinks and cold water actually encourage your body to get sick and make it more prone to it.  So as much as possible, drink liquids that are warmed to room temperature at least.  And in Makkah at that time of the year, that’s also not a problem

I had to wake up a little earlier than expected however, in anticipation of the long lines to the bathrooms at Muzdalifah.  Bathrooms were not too far off, in fact they were right in front of us, but a crowd was growing!  Once I reached there with a group of sisters, we probably stood in line for about half an hour before we finally got a chance to get our business done.  A bit of a quarrel broke out in front of me, and the problem was that women just didn’t want to form one line in front of the bathroom stall.  It’s like they insisted on having two lines at the same time, and the first ones of each line would almost duel to get to the stall first!  It is frustrating and one of my friends tried to talk people through, but eventually she got sucked into the argument as well.  From this I learned that it’s just better to stay silent as much as possible.  Don’t just “not argue”, but don’t even try to sort an argument between people at that moment (especially amongst women!) because in reality, no one is in any condition to listen unfortunately, and anything you say will automatically get you involved as well.

Afterwards, since the wudhoo’ area was not sectioned off completely, lines were forming, and men were also coming to make wudhoo’ in the same spot, I decided to go ahead and put my water bottle to good use and made wudhoo’ with whatever water it contained.  I don’t know why I got such a spiritual kick out of this—when you get back down to basics, and conserve every drop of water you can, all the while remembering the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) who used to make wudhoo’ out of a cup of water alone.

Before the Fajr Adhaan was given, I had some time to quickly gather my stones.  I was able to gather about 76, even though I only needed just over 49 (extra for those “just in case” moments), in about five minutes!

After Fajr, we sat to remember Allah as it was a time for Dua’a until the “sky turns yellow”.  Actually, very few people really do this, and the big distraction is actually trying to board a bus on time back to Mina.  Unfortunately, my biggest dilemma at that moment was the smog and fumes.  Wearing a face mask was not working for me (and it wasn’t a good idea in Ihram, anyway), so I would cover my nose with my Khimar, but then it was difficult to breath.  We ended up waiting for our bus to arrive for about an hour or more, so we had plenty of time to make dua’a and dhikr.  However, the biggest discomfort was the smog right at that moment, and it was extremely strong at that hour.  And I think of the entire experience, it was the smog and fumes which really affected me the most, and when it was suffocating enough, I sometimes felt I may not be able to tolerate it much longer and may collapse!

Once we got into a line, ready to board a bus, it was sisters who were to load first.  Unfortunately I ended up sitting at the very back of the bus and I was feeling terribly sick.  It was these sorts of moments I would start to think about home again, and the fresh air of my backyard.  How many blessings do we take advantage of, so much so that we don’t even realize they are blessings?  Indeed, it may be that we are not able to count Allah’s blessings because of this very fact.  And fresh air for me, at that point, was an enormous blessing I had to remember to thank Allah for.

Unfortunately, the bus had no AC.  It was not that I was hot, but the AC at least provided some cool, clean air circulation rather than letting the fumes in by opening the windows.  A sister who was sitting next to us in the aisle ended up fainting and I sort of panicked at that point.  AlHamdulillah though, we finally reached Mina and I went to freshen up a bit to clear my head.  It was the 10th of Dhul-Hijjah, the busiest day for the Hajji.  It is this day that many rituals are performed, and it can become chaotic.

Once we were able, it was time to go to the Jamaraat.  The original plan was to go in small groups, but that didn’t work, and everyone just ended up gathering under our group banner regardless of the group leader.  It was under the hot sun we walked, and under two major tunnels, which was a nice scene.  The tunnel was filled with not just people, but banners from every group and country you could imagine.  And all the crowds gathering and walking in the same direction with the same purpose was such an inspiring sight.  It is such an honor to be part of such a vast Ummah, alHamdulillah.

We finally reached the area of the Jamaraat, and todays throwing would be easier than the coming days because we are only required to stone one of the pillars (now a huge wall).  I told my husband that I wanted to take a picture of him throwing his stones and he laughed at me, challenging me to do so with the raging crowd ahead.  alHamdulillah I was able to get two snapshots of him, and he got two snapshots of me too.  You may wonder, why was I so frantic about taking pictures this whole time!  Well, I took pictures mostly to show my children.  There’s something more meaningful about sharing your experience with them, rather than just showing them general pictures of the whole process.  We had discussed hajj so often, watched hajj videos with them, that to be able to share the experience with them and show these pictures it makes it even more exciting.

After we threw our stones, we made our way back and it was this leg of the trip that would cause me to get heat stroke later in the day.  With the heat so intense, and our umbrella not being much of a help, the crowd moving very slowly, we finally reached our camp, and I practically collapsed on my sleeping bag.  My body was very warm, I was dehydrated, and I had a blasting headache.  However, it was not the time to rest, and I desperately wanted to shower and change my clothes.  I had only washed essentials before leaving for Mina, so I had clothes enough for three changes.  While it’s allowed to shower and change while in the state of Ihram, it’s better to be in a “humble” state when performing all these rituals, according to the ‘Ulemaa’.  I believe I had not showered or changed for three days and was filthy!  One sister had mentioned she avoided the showers in Mina (and the fights that go with it) only to shower before leaving for the airport!  Unfortunately, I didn’t have the same tolerance and I grabbed my things and headed for the showers.

Unfortunately, the timing I chose was not very ideal.  It was just around Dhuhr time, and people were starting to crowd around the Wudhoo’ areas and showers were starting to get occupied.  Fortunately though, still there were many people still at the Jamaraat, so it was not as crowded as expected.  Showers and toilets (the infamous “holes in the ground”) are combined in one stall.  You do everything in one place, basically.  Unfortunately, the first stall I entered, after washing it a bit, did not have a working shower.  So much for tidying up :)  It was a good thing I moved to another stall somewhere in the middle.  Let me explain why…

The women’s stalls are sectioned off slightly by a wall.  So when you exit a stall, there will be a wall in front of you.  For the men, there is no wall, therefore less privacy.  Usually when women wait in line for the bathrooms, they will not wait within the sectioned area, but outside it, near the entrance.  It was a blessing from Allah that I was in a stall in the middle because usually with all the crowding at the end, near the entrance, no one really notices the stalls in the middle!  So while I showered (in peace!) there was a huge brawl that broke out with the sisters at the end, near the entrance.  The European toilets are usually on the ends (and while lots of people from the west are not accustomed to the old-fashioned “holes in the ground”, I would still prefer them over European toilets because they are somehow much more hygenic!  I’d rather not sit on a contaminated european toilet seat), and that’s where the fight broke out.  And it was a nasty fight, and I thought a wrestling match was going to start!  It so happened that my husband was on the other side taking a shower too and heard all the commotion!  But in the end, alHamdulillah, no one banged on my door, I didn’t get yelled at, and I peacefully got my business done and went back to the tent.  So remember, if you find yourself in the same situation, go for the middle stalls!

I tried to sleep for a bit after praying Dhuhr, but I woke up frequently only to finally get up and drink about two bottles of water.   I was still dehydrated and feeling the affects of the heat on the way back from the Jamaraat.  I felt better after drinking the water, but told my husband, if I have to do this again tomorrow, I may not make it.  And because my condition was such, and because my husband was now almost fully recovered, he told me to just rest as much as possible, and he would throw on my behalf.

Groups were leaving throughout the day to perform their Tawaf al-Ifaadhah.  My dilemma was such that my health was not top notch and any exertion was aggravating it.  And with a growing baby inside me, I didn’t want to take any risks.  alHamdulillah, there is the option to combine Tawaaf al-Ifaadhah with the Farewell Tawaaf, Tawaaf al-Wadaa’, and I had kind of decided to go with this option.  However at 1am that night, another group was leaving for the Haram, and my husband and I decided to board the bus for that.

However, I was on alert.  It seemed like I was getting subtle hints from Allah that I shouldn’t go.  Firstly, I wasn’t feeling too well, next, once our bus arrived, there was a bit of a quarrel, and three buses got filled and there was no room for us.  We were told to go back to our tents until another bus arrived, and we would be called to go then.  I went back inside to lay down and it was at that moment I resolved not to go.  Nothing seemed positive and I didn’t want to take the risk.  My husband went however.  Another blessing from Allah, it was a good thing I didn’t go.  Because this group did not end up returning until after ‘Asr the next day!

So I rested all day the following day.  It was nice to receive, for dinner, a box of rice and meat from the sacrificial meat too!  Just after ‘Asr time, I received a text message from my husband saying that he just went to the Jamaraat and threw stones for both of us and he was making his way back to Mina.  Shortly after this, an announcement was made that the Jamaraat had been closed!  Something was wrong, but there was no news.  Later on, I came to know that there was some sort of short circuit in one of the tunnels, I believe, and this caused a fire which caused the people to panic and a stampede started. 86 people were reported to have died in this stampede.  I immediately called my husband and asked him where he was and if he was alright.  He said he was only five minutes away from the Mina tents, and was clueless about the stampede!  alHamdulillah for everything.  Apparently two men from our group had ventured out to go to the Jamaraat without informing their group leaders.  They were caught by the police at the Jamaraat and sent back with a message for our group that no one is to proceed to the Jamaraat without further notice.

Things calmed down a few hours later and the Jamaraat was opened once again.  It was strange how we were right there and we could have gotten first hand information about what happened, but we found ourselves thinking that getting any kind of news here was very difficult.  We happened to pass by a small TV, hoping there would be some news, but there was none.  Actually, when we came back to the states, we were surprised to find that no one really knew about the incident from the outside either.

This was to be our last full day in Mina.  We were amongst the group which would be doing Ta’ajjal (which means we leave on the 12th of Dhul-Hijjah, not staying for the 13th).  Our flight was also the first flight to leave.  It was a group of 25 of us who were given first priority to be taken from Mina to the Haram to perform our last Tawaaf, back to ‘Aziziyah to gather our luggage and then rushed to Jeddah to board our flight at 2am the following morning.  It would be the busiest day, and the most critical day of the Hajj, as if all the exertion of Hajj was saved for this very last day.  It would be a day I will never forget, but at the same time, truly cherish.

The Last day of Hajj - Continued in Part Eight.

Dinner on the Day of ‘Id from the Sacrificial meat

Leaving the Jamaraat

My turn!

Hubby’s turn

The Jamaraat Pillars (or walls I should say)

On the way to the Jamaraat

In the tunnels, on the way to the Jamaraat

Morning of Muzdalifah, trash everywhere

Waiting for the Buses to arrive in Muzdalifah to take us back to Mina

Fajr Prayer at Muzdalifah

The stones I collected for Rami

Waiting for the Bathrooms!

The crowd growing in front of the bathrooms in Muzdalifah

Hubby sound asleep, alHamdulillah!

Maghrib and ‘Isha Prayers at Muzdalifah

Getting settled in

A mix of emotions were going through my head really:  excitement, feeling a little worn out, worry… etc.  I got a seat at the front of the bus so I got some good snapshots.  Streets were packed, and you could see some Hajjis braving the morning heat as they walked to Mina rather than take the bus.  We arrived at our camp and unloaded.  I suppose I was not very surprised by the things I saw because of watching Hajj videos over and over again, lol.  But the experience of course is a totally different feeling.  Once we found our tent, it was time to get settled in.  I wanted to spend this time to rest and prepare for the upcoming days as much as possible.  The only thing I really ventured out for was to look for the bathrooms!

AlHamdulillah, bathrooms were not something that I had a lot of trouble with.  I think the only thing that I was really worried about was someone banging on my door!  I made it a point to be quick about my business as much as possible.  Also, I felt the Hajj program we went with did a wonderful job of taking care of the Hujjaj.  Everything was taken care of on time, and all of our needs were met.  I was surprised to hear some of the Shyookh in the group voicing their concerns about too many complaints.  I honestly felt there was nothing to complain about, alHamdulillah.

Yawm at-Tarwiyah was spent rather uneventfully, and good thing too.  The next day was the big day, ‘Arafah.  While we arrived and settled into our tents in ‘Arafah around 10am, the time of ‘Arafah doesn’t really start until after Dhuhr.  So I spent my time just resting and doing Dhikr.  The heat was rising and unfortunately, my spot seemed the hottest so I was a bit uncomfortable.  I went outside a few times to stand in the shade instead because that provided more relief.  I kept remembering what our group coordinator kept telling us, that the hotels in Makkah and Madinah would be 20 times better than the stay in ‘Aziziyah, and ‘Aziziyah would be 20 times better than Mina, and Mina would be 20 times better than ‘Arafah, and ‘Arafah would be 20 times better than Muzdalifah.  And really, each part of the journey, each place you stay in, gets relatively more and more simple than the last place, and more and more comforts are removed.  While people complain about this a lot, I realized that subhanAllah, because we are so weak, we almost need these comforts to be removed in order to focus on the intense acts of ‘Ibadah ahead.  I mean, even in our times, when travel and lodging are considerably easier and more comfortable than a decade ago, a century ago, etc., Hajj will still be difficult in any time.  I’m very happy it is this way because perhaps we would not exert ourselves as much.

The Dhuhr Adhaan was given and the khutbah was about to be delivered.  While I gave my full attention to the Khutbah from beginning to end, it was really the conclusion of the Khutbah that I remember vividly.  I remember it so vividly that I even forgot what the first part was about!  The Imam concluded his khutbah addressing those people who had voiced so many complaints throughout the journey.  He narrated the following incident from the Battle of Hunayn:

Returning from Taif, Muhammad halted at Je’raanah, a place beyond the outskirts of Mecca, where the entire booty of Hunain had been collected for distribution. In the division of the spoils, a large proportion fell to the share of the newly converted Meccans than to the people of Medina. Some of the Medinite Ansars looked upon this as an act of partiality and thus, there were whispers of dissatisfaction. Some of them said: “The Prophet had rewarded the Meccans and deprived us of our share, although the blood of the Meccans is still dripping from our swords.” Other said: “We are remembered in moments of difficulties while booty is given to others.” When their discontent reached the ear of Muhammad, he assembled the disheartened Medinite Ansars together and spoke, “O’ men of Ansar, is it not true that you were in the dark and through me God guided you towards light?” The Ansar replied, “Verily, God and His Prophet did us a great favour.” Then he said, “Were you not torn by enmities and hostilities among yourselves and did I not give you unity and peace?” They said, “Verily, we are indebted to you for many favours.” Then he said, “Were you not poor and God through me made you rich?” They said, “Verily, God and His Prophet have been kind to us.” Then he said, “O’ men of Ansar, why  do you disturb your hearts because of the things of this life? Would you not prefer that the other people return to their homes with the goats and camels, while you go back to your homes with me in your midst?” On hearing his words, the Ansar wept and said that they wanted only Muhammad and nothing else.

In particular, the Imam emphasized the bolded text above, asking the people, “Why do you trouble yourself with these little complaints and disturbances while you have the opportunity to be forgiven all of your sins and return back to your homes as free from sins as a newborn?”  And with that statement, it seemed like the entire crowd was in tears, including the Imam.  He continued, however, mentioning the Salatul-Istisqa’ that was prayed at the Haram earlier in the journey (remember I had mentioned that earlier).  He asked tearfully, “Wasn’t there ONE Saalih whose dua’a was answered that day so that even one drop of rain would fall upon us??”  And with that, subhanAllah, my tears could not be withheld.  I thought back to the dream I had about rain pouring down on Makkah, and the rain clouds I had seen at an earlier visit to ‘Arafah.  And then I remembered what people were saying about this incident–that it’s not the time and place for rain anyway.  I was shocked by the attitudes of the people, as if we were playing when we prayed Salatul-Istisqaa’, as if it was just for amusement to “keep the tradition alive”… It was at this moment when these tears broke from my eyes, that I realized first hand that our Ummah is in really bad shape, that we doubt these basic traditions of the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) and we have lost trust in them.  Wallaahul-Musta’aan.  This was the saddest moment of the entire Hajj.  Surprisingly enough, that night, or the following night (can’t remember which), I had yet another dream that it rained!

Immediately after we prayed Dhuhr and ‘Asr, I got to work.  Several people had typed up dua’a lists, even my kids, which I had promised to open and read only on the day of ‘Arafah.  I was so scared of missing even one minute of that day not making dua’a that I feel perhaps this was a mistake and I rushed through my dua’as too much.  Nevertheless, I also found dua’a pamphlets that we were given by the Saudi workers at the Hajj terminal which contained beautiful dua’as I was grateful to have at that moment.  I think I finished within an hour!  I remember I had been told we wouldn’t have the whole day like many years ago because the days were shorter and I think that’s what made me rush a bit.  AlHamdulillah though, after I finished my lists, I remembered the best supplication on the day of ‘Arafah, and ended up reciting that until sunset pretty much.  Lunch was served and we got some energy as the heat was rising, and emotions seemed to be on the rise too.  I then text messaged my husband and gave him the same pamphlet of dua’as which he appreciated.

Then my eyes landed on a dua’a book that a sister was using, which she had borrowed from a sister who was sitting next to me.  I asked her if I could borrow it and the dua’as in this book were even more beautiful than the ones I found in the pamphlet.  I believe it was a list of about 80+ ad’iyaa and I recited all of them.  At that moment, I really wished I had a copy of my own!  I thought perhaps—Allah had answered all of my dua’as up until now, perhaps He’ll grant me such a book.  I asked the sister where she had gotten it from, and to her it seemed like a silly question, since they seemed to be available everywhere.  I had secretly hoped she would just give it to me, lol!  She never did, however, after the incident, I thought, “Ok, Qadr Allah, but I’m gonna look for it whenever I get the chance.”

And SubhanAllah, how impatient we become with our dua’a, and how generous is our Lord nevertheless.  When sunset was approaching, a young lady who was sitting next to this woman came to me and handed me a copy of this dua’a book as a gift.  I was speechless.  You can imagine how precious this dua’a book is to me now!  And it’s strange, when you narrate these sorts of incidents to others (I narrated it to my husband), they don’t get as excited as you do.  But that’s ok, it’s nice when it is something special between you and Allah.

As the day of ‘Arafah was coming to a close, many people stepped out of the tents to make dua’a facing the Qiblah.  It was a beautiful and tearful sight.  I couldn’t see the crowds of ‘Arafah though except in the location I was staying in.  However, the atmosphere was full of emotion.  May Allah accept our deeds on this day, Ameen.

The sun had set, and now the crowds were making their way to Muzdalifah.  We had proceeded to the gate, waiting for the bus, but the crowd was rising and we were told that the buses would not be loaded until everyone stood in a line!  I thought this was an impossible task and given the fact that I was not really anywhere near the gate, we headed back to the tents until they called us.  When we were called, my husband and I ended up going on separate buses.  This was the part of the trip we were a little worried about, mostly because many people get sick in Muzdalifah due to the cold.  We would be pleasantly surprised

The road to Muzdalifah in Part Seven.

Sunset at ‘Arafah

The tent in ‘Arafah

My space at Mina

Some people decided to set up their own tents—Allah makes space for everyone

Our tent in Mina

Arriving in Mina

AlHamdulillah though, our group was going to be taking everyone on a tour of Madinah.  I had planned on attending alone since my husband was not well, but was surprised to find him boarding the bus and sitting next to me, ready to go!  I guess he was feeling better that day.  I was really excited as can be expected from a first-timer :)  However, it was especially exciting for me because we had been reading from the Seerah to our children every night for several months, and to visit the actual sites of the events we discussed made the trip even more exciting.  I had made sure to keep my phone fully charged so that I could take as many pictures as possible to show the kids.

Our first stop was the site of Uhud.  And as soon as I got off the bus, it’s like flashback time :)  Imagining scenes of the battle, visiting the burial site of the Shuhadaa’ and greeting them.  Finally getting to see the hill of the Archers, and imagining what must have happened there, and the attack of Khalid bin Waleed from behind.  I realized it is so very important to bring our children to these places, to give all the stories we learned a touch of reality in our times.  It is so important to regularly visit these places in order to touch upon the history there and have that constant connection with our historical and magnificent heritage.  As a family, I would say it’s best to visit these sites every year, in order to keep ourselves anchored and focused, and give that boost to our Iman we tend to lose living out here in the West and being consumed in our own lives.

This part of the trip was not without some spending though.  We managed to do a bit of shopping—and with my husband’s health not at all top notch, it was whatever opportunity I could grab!  We made our way back to the bus and headed next to the Qur’an Printing Complex.  Sadly, no opportunity to take pictures here since I was obviously sitting on the wrong side of the bus :(  However, even more sad was that to my surprise, no women were allowed on the tour, something I was really, really looking forward to.  They sent the women to the shopping area instead.  My  husband was on the tour and took a short video of what he saw (I may post it up later), however he mentioned to me that every single copy of the Mushaf is reviewed by Huffaadh, making sure not even a dot is in the wrong place.  Amazing job!

So while the men were on the tour, I got to browse around and while I didn’t really have any money with me and no intention really to purchase anything, there were things that really caught my eye.  I ended up spending a bit anyway :)  One of the most prized possessions of those who study the Qira’aat of the Qur’an are the Masaahif.  I purchased the Mushaf of the recitation of Qaloon ‘an Naafi’ and ad-Dooree ‘an Abi ‘Amr, and the cassettes of the recitation of Qaloon by Sh. Hudhayfi.  What can I say—books, if anything, are my major weakness, and in the back of my mind, I knew I wouldn’t be able to withhold myself!  There was only one thing that stopped me from purchasing anything else—ran out of cash.  Qadr Allah!

Next stop was Masjid Quba’.  Masjid Quba’!  And what can I say about the history it has seen.  SubhanAllah, how can I express my appreciation to Allah for having the honor to pray here also.  Unfortunately, it was a packed day for Masjid Quba’, but nevertheless, I was eager to grab the reward of praying there.  Our stay was very short, unfortunately, after which we headed back to the buses, back to the hotel.  But before I forget, I believe it was on the way to Masjid Quba’ that we passed by Masjid Qiblatayn.  I was hoping we’d make a stop here, but we only passed by, and that too, very quickly.  I was sitting on the wrong side of the bus and also we passed by too fast for me to take a snapshot.  Qadr Allah.

And the rest of the day was spent resting, once again.  We had not had the opportunity to pray at Masjid an-Nawawi very much due to health issues.  And it wasn’t until the day we were supposed to head back to Makkah that my husband said, “I wish we could stay just one more day!”  SubhanAllah, Allah answered him because that night the announcement was made that our stay would be extended one more day.  And things like this kept on happening throughout our trip, as I mentioned earlier.  And I learned something from these experiences.  We many not even ask Allah for such things, but Allah fulfills these sorts of wishes, regardless.  A lesson for hosts:  do not wait for guests to express their needs or wishes, and instead think ahead of them and do your best to fulfill those wishes.  Do not ask them if they want a glass of water, but present it to them instead.

So once again, another day of rest, but by now, I was bored out of my mind!  I didn’t like venturing out by myself because I do have the tendency to become lost, unfortunately.  However, that evening, my husband was feeling well enough to take me out for a stroll and we headed to the Masjid.  After that, we did a bit of shopping—my younger daughter had specifically requested a “pink dress”  and so we were on the look out.  Throughout the journey, that’s all we would talk about—our kids, and how much we missed them.  At times, I would get really down they were having so much fun with their cousins that they wouldn’t speak to us on the phone.  But in the end I was grateful that Allah was taking care of them too.

The main topic of discussion at this point was how to cross the Meeqaat once again.  Having exited the Meeqaat and now about to re-enter it, confusion was growing about whether or not one assumes Ihraam for ‘Umrah, Hajj, or if Ihraam was necessary at all.  As the days of Hajj drew closer, the crowds would be even more intense at the Haram now and ‘Umrah may not be as easy as it was.  I didn’t want to take the risk of making my niyyah for ‘Umrah, only to find that I am unable to complete or it would me more than one day to do so.  I was keen on saving as much energy as possible for Hajj, especially since I had already come down with one fever, but still not feeling 100%.  My husband’s health was getting worse and worse to the point where he had developed ulcers in his mouth so painful that he couldn’t eat or talk very well.  He went to a clinic in Madinah to get some sort of diagnosis, but was only given some medicines which didn’t seem to make him feel any better.  The bus trips to and from Madinah had really aggravated it and so we both felt it would be best if we assumed Ihram for Hajj.  We would be in Ihram for about five days.

The bus trip back to Makkah is usually about an hour longer because we have to be taken to the Mutawwif’s office this time to be registered as Hajjis (the first time we were registered as visitors).  The first stop after leaving the Hotel was the Meeqaat at Abeer ‘Ali, or Dhul-Hulayfah.  It was night time and it was crowded.  We got off the bus, headed to the bathrooms which were nice and clean, included showers for those who prefer to have a bath before putting on their Ihraam.  But time was limited for that and I had expected it to be so and had made my preparations before leaving the Hotel.  We proceeded to the Masjid and prayed Maghrib and ‘Isha combined, as well as our 2 Rak’ats for assuming Ihram.

We had left Madinah only to reach our rest houses in ‘Aziziyah at Fajr time.  This was the first time my husband and I would be living separately until the trip back home and this gave me more reason to worry because I wouldn’t be able to tend to him as I did in previous days, and there was no way on working around it.  His fevers were not being relieved, and because of the ulcers in his mouth, he had a persistent headache as well.  Not having the ability to eat anything, or even speak much, he lost a lot of weight, there was the fear growing in our minds that somehow he may not make it for Hajj.

alHamdulillah, when I entered my room, I was one of the first occupants, which means the bathroom was free :)  I immediately showered, prayed Fajr and laid down to rest and that’s all I did until we left for Mina.  The next day, I met up with my husband only to find that he was in such bad shape he was brought to tears.  alHamdulillah though, there was a doctor in our group and we managed to get him examined by this doctor who diagnosed him, to our surprise, with Herpes in the mouth which had been brought on by extreme stress.  We couldn’t believe what we were hearing, but this turned out to be the correct diagnosis.  We were given the names of several medicines, and with my husband feeling so weak, I set out on my own in search for Pharmacies.  alHamdulillah there were two on the same street and while I did manage to find the medicines, I didn’t have enough money.  I was really surprised to find how expensive medicines are!  And there were some over the counter items that are so easily available here that are not so readily available there.  Hydrogen Peroxide was an essential remedy for my husband, but it was not only hard to find, but extremely expensive as well.  SubhanAllah, how many of the blessings we find so readily available here in the west do we take for granted… May Allah grant us the ability to thank Him as He should be thanked.

My medicine search was not so fruitful unfortunately.  But later on, the doctor himself accompanied my husband to the pharmacies and got what was needed.  It was a Thursday, and we were to leave for Mina on Saturday morning.  Would it be enough time for him to recover?  Doubts grew in our minds, and almost every Hajji has an experience like this:  the looming doubt of whether or not they will complete their Hajj.  I had not experienced it….YET.  However, for my husband, this was his moment.  So that day and the next was spent making sure that my husband took his medicines on time, and gargled with not just his mouthwash, but ZamZam as well.  The doctor had said that his loss of appetite could mean that the disease had spread to his stomach as well, but it was absolutely essential that he eat to gain some energy and to avoid the nausea associated with taking medicine on an empty stomach.  I felt like I spent the whole day text messaging him, reminding him to take his medicine and to gargle as much as possible.  Pain coupled with whispers of Shaytan, he was as pessimistic as pessimistic can be, and I tried my best help relieve that, but in the end, Allah is the one we seek for help.

And indeed, His help came.  By Saturday morning, my husband was about 80% recovered, alHamdulillah!  And all the while, I kept marveling at this great blessing—it is only when we start to break down and hope is starting to slip away gradually, and we’re hanging by the last fiber of our rope, Allah’s help comes.  We only had to be patient for just a few moments more.  But why does Allah delay His help, I wondered.  I realize now that it makes the moment all the more sweeter and if we were to be given instant gratification, we would not be so grateful and rather we would transgress on earth.

The Hajj begins - to be continued in Part Six.

Entering Masjid Quba’

Masjid Quba’

Uhud

Hill of the Archers

The Burial site of the Shuhadaa’ of Uhud

The Range of Uhud

But it was again, another experience I had to taste.  Entering the Prophet’s (saws) city is also a great honor, and to pray in his Masjid, many times more.  But the feeling I kept having when we left Makkah was utter sadness!  Deep down, you end up have this feeling of not wanting to be far away from the Haram, from Allah’s House, because you tasted a sweetness of longing for your Rabb that you’ve never really tasted any other time in your life.  So the departure was bittersweet for me.

We packed our bags and took only what we would need for the stay in Madinah.  The rest of our luggage would be heading off to the rest houses in ‘Aziziyah where we would be staying once we returned from Madinah until Hajj begins.  We were supposed to be ready by 8am, and though we were ready, we also managed to take our time a bit, and have a good breakfast and mentally prepare for the journey.  You may be asking—mentally prepare?  Yes, it was that stressful.  And unfortunately, it was the stress of this trip which would cause my husband to become so ill that there was the fear he wouldn’t complete Hajj this year!

We boarded the bus around 9:30am and didn’t actually leave until 10:30am.  I don’t remember much about the ride unfortunately because all my attention was on my husband who had a rising fever, and was shivering cold.  I had filled bottles of ZamZam at the Haram that morning and kept having him take sips of that, but the journey really aggravated his symptoms.  We reached a stop area at ‘Asr time, to eat, rest, and pray before we heading off again.  We stopped right in front of a cafeteria sort of building where fresh food was available, bathrooms, and a place to sit and rest.  I desparately needed to put my feet up because I was having intense swelling in my legs.  And it was here I was to have my first bathroom experience too :)  I was expecting the worst, but I think what agravated the situation was that, because there was no soap to wash my hands, I think those germs eventually were the cause of MY getting sick in Madinah.  I felt it immediately in my throat as soon as I came out of the building.  I headed off to the Masjid to pray and couldn’t believe how swollen my legs were when I was unable to sit during prayer!  But there was no time for me to sit and rest as I had to find my husband and see how he was feeling.  He was in bad shape, but this was a time of Sabr and he would have to bear it.

We resumed our journey into the evening and night.  I tried to sleep on and off, and it was fine because we usually slept during the day anyway while in Makkah. As we neared the city, again thoughts of seeing the Haram in Madinah filled my heart, and tears would well up in my eyes as I sent Salah and Salam upon the Prophet (saws).  SubhanAllah, we would be entering Madinah—the Madinah which received the Prophet (saws) after such a dangerous and long journey from Makkah, the city which aided the Prophet (saws) and granted him safe haven to spread the message.  It was the city of the Ansaar, and the beautiful brotherhood which took place between them and the Muhajireen.  It was the center of the Prophet’s (saws) command, where many delegations met him towards the end of his life.  How much history was in this city!

And with nothing exciting occuring on the way, we reached our hotel in Madinah almost exactly 12 hours from when we started: around 10:30pm.  Entering the hotel lobby was a relief, and we were welcomed once again by the residents, who offered us refreshments while we waited to get our rooms. I found myself watching the TV they had there, which had commercials about Hajj, and once I saw the Haram, that strange longing for it came back, and next thing I knew, tears filled my eyes.  Yes, I was in the city of the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), a city where most people naturally feel peace and tranquility upon entering, but it could not shake these feelings of missing Allah’s house.

We had hoped to get a room for both of us instead of sharing with four others like in Makkah, but the chances here were a bit more slim.  However, Allah is the best of planners, and what was amazing was that they ended up assigning a room for me and another man!  When my husband noticed this, who was already assigned a room with 3 others, he managed to get his name switched with the man who was assigned for my room and we were able to get a room to ourselves.  We don’t know if it was the plan from the start to book us a room together, however, it was amazing how had it been a sister with whome I was sharing a room, there was no chance they would have made the switch.

We settle into our rooms and rested a bit before going down to get something to eat.  Throughout the journey, I pretty much ate by myself, with my husband having the apetite for only a few bites and the need for much rest.  I wanted to go to the Haram that night, but in Madinah, things are quite different.  The Masjid is usually closed for the sisters shortly after ‘Isha.  People seem to sleep early and not dwell into the night, life is very orderly here, and rules are more strictly implemented. It was also much cooler and the air much cleaner here.

I woke the next morning, still jetlagged believe it or not, but in time to get ready to go to the Haram for Fajr Salah.  I had to go alone and see if I can find the way to the Masjid myself.  I wasn’t too worried about that because, as in Makkah, just an hour or two before Salah begins, you always see crowds of people all walking in the same direction.  All I had to do was follow the crowd.  My husband told me that praying in the masjid is not as tedious a task as it is in Makkah.  You don’t really have to go an hour early (or more) to pray inside, and there will be plenty of space.  Taking his word for it, I didn’t set out too early, but once I got there, I found that I had no choice but to pray outside!  Apparently, the sisters’ section was totally packed.  So without a fuss, I found my space, put down my prayer rug, and waited for the prayer to start.  My mind is always restless though, and while it’s the ideal time for dua’a, I find myself going blank and instead looking at my surroundings—the beautiful canopies around the Masjid, the organization the sisters [in uniform] would take on to manage all the sisters coming in for prayer.  They seemed much more strict, and had a no-nonsense approach to them.  This Masjid was considerably more beautiful and neater than the Haram (for obvious reasons of course.

After praying Fajr, I headed to go inside the Masjid.  It is after Fajr (and ‘Isha, I later came to realize) that the area of the Rawdah is opened for the sisters.  Seeing not much of a crowd initially, I thought the idea of praying two Rak’ahs there would be a peace of cake!  I had originally entered through Gate 13.  I was told I would have to go to Gate 25.  So I proceeded to Gate 25, which ended up being all the way around the other side of the Masjid.  After I reached there, I was shocked to find it so packed, and because I was so clueless, it was a bit embarrassing to admit this because I should have expected it to be packed to begin with.  It was so crowded that the women had been divided into groups by country.  I ended up being put in with the Africans, later finding out that anyone who was English speaking was put there.  After finally finding a spot to sit, I found my husband text messaged me about my whereabouts.  After replying, I forgot to stash away my phone and nearly had it taken away from me when one sister [in uniform] almost grabbed it because it had a camera, which are not allowed.  Good thing I was sitting next to these African sisters, who defended me and I got to keep my phone.  I resolved never to come with the phone again no matter what!

They were going to give some sort of lecture—about what, and when I had no idea, but I didn’t hear any lecture unfortunately.  Finally the gates in front of us opened, and the sisters, with all their emotional excitement ran through the gates as if they were being released from captivity!  I followed the crowd and we got to a sectioned off area.  Now I was clueless as to where the Rawdah was exactly.  In fact, I was so clueless, I had no idea that it was near the grave of the Prophet (saws).  I looked around me to see if there was any way of telling where I was exactly, and I found myself looking at the ceiling where I saw paintings of leaves, fruits, and vines.  I thought—perhaps this is the Rawdah, the piece of Jannah the Prophet (saws) was talking about.  I saw people praying and others going frantic, scratching the partitions in front of them and becoming really emotional.  I really had no idea what was going on!  And subhanAllah, I was even more surprised by the dua’a that I made at that moment, a dua’a that I had not originally planned to say, but it was as if someone popped it into my mind at that moment.  I found myself asking Allah to protect me from committing anything displeasing to Him or disobedient to Him.

I peformed two Rak’ats of prayer with the intention of praying in what I thought was the Rawdah.  I saw women proceeding even further up later on and since there was no other way out but forward, I joined the crowd.  Big mistake!  I found myself sucked into a crowd of frantic and emotional women, and all the crushing, pushing, shoving that I thought I was going to encounter in Makkah, and never expected to encounter in Madinah happened at that moment.  There was not an inch of space on either side of me, and it was Allah’s blessing I happened to meet a friend I had met in Makkah who was right in front of me.  The first thing I told her was, “SubhanAllah, you happen to be exactly where I need you!”  She grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the crowd and it was then I realized that the grave of the Prophet (saws) was actually in front of that raging crowd.  Many people were praying—I don’t know how since there was not an inch of space to even bend down for rukoo’ and sujood.  Many women were also doing things they really shouldn’t have been doing either!  May Allah forgive me if I committed any wrong unknowingly—because at that time, I dreaded the notion that perhaps I had prayed in the wrong direction even, not knowing that people perhaps were praying towards our noble Prophet’s (saws) grave.

Having finally escaped, it was time for me to make my way back “home”.  Walking through the masjid, I got a better idea of how beautiful and tranquil the place was, with some sort of lecture going on at the same time, I really felt like just sitting and listening, praying or reading the Qur’an to put my mind to rest.  But being pregnant, I was also famished!  I made my way back finally to Gate 13 pretty much exhausted by then and eventually back to the hotel.

More in Part Five.

My first Fajr prayer outside the Prophet’s Masjid

Inside the Prophet’s Masjid, waiting for the gates to open to the Rawdah

I told my husband not to tell me where the Ka’bah is once I enter the Haram, but he did anyway :)  We removed our shoes and entered the gates.  My husband turned to me and said, “The Ka’bah is right in front of you.”  I looked up, and sure and through the pillars, I saw the magnificent House of Allah.  It’s funny though—everytime I thought about having this experience before, my eyes would well up with tears, and I had a strong feeling that once I laid my eyes on the Ka’bah, I’d be sobbing too!  But no such thing happened.  I was filled with excitement and extreme happiness and my first glance made me say only one thing—SubhanAllah, with all my heart.

We proceeded towards the Ka’bah to begin our Tawaaf.  I was excited to perform these rituals since there is something about them that gives such a surge to one’s Iman.  Here in the west, much of these sorts of rituals are not performed.  At its height, there is the Salah, Fasting of Ramadhan, and payment of the Zakah.  This experience alone was like a combination of all of these aspects.

I couldn’t take my eyes off the Ka’bah.  Its magnificence and grandeur really struck me.   That night was not very packed, and we got pretty close to the Ka’bah.  I longed to touch it, however, many people fight over this and I didn’t want to earn any disobedience by harming others in order to do so.  For my feet to walk this noble ground and to be near this ancient house was more than enough for me and I was truly honored to be amongst Allah’s servants who had made this journey.  It was truly a treat for me.

After we completed our 7 circuits, we proceeded to pray 2 Rak’ats behind Maqam Ibraheem.  After that, we went to go and have a drink of ZamZam water and there I made dua’a that Allah would protect my health throughout this journey so that I could perform all the rites with utmost energy and strength.  It was nice to finally apply all of these rituals after memorizing them over and over again!  You really realize the affects of applying knowledge and how it is the best way to preserve that knowledge.

We then proceeded to perform the Sa’ee.  We walked to as-Safa and immediately, I couldn’t help but envision our mother Hajar running between these two hills in search for water.  What an honor for her that this one act of hers is applied by so many around the world, each year, all year, millions and millions come to honor the struggle of Hajar during her most dire need!  It was truly an honor to follow in the footsteps of our mother, not to mention humbling.

After Sa’ee it was time to cut our hair and we would be out of the state of Ihram.  I had finished ‘Umrah!  It was exciting for me and I was uplifted in so many ways spiritually.  After that night, we would usually pray Fajr, Maghrib and ‘Isha prayers at the Haram and Tawaf every night.  During the day, I was so jetlagged, I stayed behind to save my energy and to avoid the heat.  It was a nice time to just enjoy worshipping Allah—tasting its sweetness.  I found myself more relaxed than I had ever been for many years.  And there is no doubt, verily in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.  It is true that when you are free of distractions, you can’t really get enough of worshipping Allah.  Your desires finally align with the true purpose of your creation, which is to worship your Creator.   That’s the only time one can find true peace.  During these moments, I prayed to Allah not to let me be far from Him, that I should be close to my Lord always.

We spent about 4 days in Makkah, relaxing and enjoying the Haram.  Day by day, the crowds grow as Hujjaaj from all over the world start pouring in as the Hajj days draw closer.  I saw Muslims from all over the world, and this by itself is such an amazing experience.  Everyday, you could see groups of Muslims, walking in lines or columns, a banner at the front overhead for the country they represented.  You could tell who was from which country, as usually groups can be distinguished by a certain piece of clothing they would be wearing, or a color, or even their luggage!  One day it would be Malaysia, another day Turkey, Iran, Kazakhstan, Pakistan, and the list goes on.  For the next week, we would have drank nothing but ZamZam water actually!  And to drink any other kind of water became strange!  You start to develop and intense love for the Ummah and this religion that binds us all.  I would meet Muslims from places, even from my state, and had it not been for this journey, we would have never met.  You learn to honor the Muslim, to respect him/her, to love them for the sake of Allah.

Pretty much every night we had intended to perform Tawaaf.  We would pretty much sleep during the day, and come out around Maghrib time, stay for Maghrib and Isha at the Haram and then go grab a bite to eat.  The second night we performed Tawaaf we were able to get extremely close to the Ka’bah.  I was so excited to be able to touch its walls.  We almost had the chance to touch Rukn al-Yamani, however, the crowds swerved us forward and we looked at each other saying, “Qadr Allah” and kept going.  I was able to get to Hateem as well, but in Tawaaf, the idea of entering the Hateem is not a good idea.  But overall, the experience was magnificent as it was always.  The next night, we performed Tawaaf an hour or so before Fajr, but only half of it, and that too, on the second floor.  We completed our circuits after Fajr.  I wish, however, I was more keen to pray in a designated women’s section.  They are few and far between, but that morning, after finding a nice spot with a group of sisters, we were told to get up and pray in the back with the women.  Unfortunately, when it’s so close to the prayers, getting to the back alone is not an easy task when aisles are filled up and rows and rows of men have formed.  I found myself searching for a spot, walking farther and farther away from the spot my husband was at, only to sit at a place next to a couple of sisters in pretty much the same row as before.  Unfortunately, this time a man ended up coming and praying next to me!  But there was enough space, and alHamdulillah, my husband was able to come and fill that gap.  But it was awkward—there was a man in front of me, a woman in front of my husband and it was an uncomfortable prayer to say the least.

One interesting event that happened, which would turn out to be one of the saddest parts of the whole Hajj experience, and which I will mention again later on, was praying Salat al-Istisqa’ (the prayer for rain) at the Haram.  It was to start at about 7am.  After praying, we headed off to breakfast.  Seems a bit uneventful right?  Yes, but there were many lessons I learned from this experience later on however.  That night, I had a dream that Makkah was blessed with pouring rain, and that day, I was sure that in sha Allah it would rain.  Not a cloud was in site though at the time, until we visited Mt. ‘Arafah (mentioned below).  I was amazed to find that there were huge rain clouds in the sky and I became really excited and even more sure that it would rain!  But to my surprise, it did not rain even one drop.  I was confused about the whole situation—why didn’t it rain?  why did I see that dream?  And this story doesn’t stop here, so stay tuned.

alHamdulillah we were blessed to be staying in Makkah on the day of Friday.  Although my husband had come twice before, this is the first time he would be attending Jumu’ah at the Haram, however, he wouldn’t know the best time to leave for Jumu’ah.  Crowds were expected to be especially intense today so we decided we would set out for Jumu’ah at around 10:30am.  When we headed out, we set out for the third floor.  We actually didn’t even make it inside!  Eventually, we wended up praying on the street right in front of our hotel.  However, the sun was moving quickly.  So once we found a shady spot, within five to ten minutes, we would be sizzling under the sun.  I moved back towards the sidewalk, where I could sit under the wall of the sidewalk and avoid the sun throughout.  However, after a few minutes, I realized it would be better for me to move and give my spot to someone else because my hotel was 30 seconds away, and I could just go pray in the lobby.  I also thought it was just better for me to go up to my hotel room as well and pray separately.  I got up and gave my seat to an old woman who was searching for a spot and headed to the lobby.  I’m glad I did that because I could concentrate better.  I messaged my husband to come to the lobby because I knew his tolerance for heat was a lot lower than mine.  He insisted he was fine after a brother shared his umbrella with him, but I was still doubtful because I knew the heat would make him sick.  And indeed, it did because he was down with a fever after that!  This would be the beginning of his troubles, unfortunately.

The khutbah began, however I was sad to find that I could not make out the words, something I was looking forward to.  After the Salah was over, I quickly ran up to our room and took pictures of the crowd (shown below).  I was a little late, otherwise the entire street was packed.

About two days before we left for Madinah, there was to be a group tour of Makkah.  We had opted not to go, and instead, one of my FIL’s friends (Abrar Uncle as we call him) who lives in Makkah met up with us and gave us a tour of his own.  We were taken to see Mina, ‘Arafah, Muzdalifah.  I climbed ‘Arafah all the way to the top, and was sad to find trash EVERYWHERE.  It made me a bit depressed because it was the Mountain of Mercy, and yet it was covered with trash.  On the way to ‘Arafah though, Abrar Uncle pointed out a stone structure that apparently runs from Mina all the way to Makkah in an area called Wadi Zubaydah, the wife of  Haroom ar-Rasheed at the time of his Khilaafah, if I remember correctly.  It was built to facilitate the transportation of ZamZam.  There are many old structures like this you can see throughout, and lucky if you can find someone to explain their significance!  We were also taken to see Jabal an-Noor, the place of the cave of Hira’ where the Prophet (saws) received the first revelation.  We were also taken to the place of the cave of Thawr, where the Prophet (saws) and his companion Abu Bakr sought refuge on the way to Madinah, barely escaping the eyes (and swords) of the Quraysh who were searching for them.  But it was Maghrib time and getting dark, so we didn’t get a good view.  Overall though, these are huge mountains!  And they command a presence which is remarkable—to think that at Jabal an-Noor, that’s where it all began, and the Prophet (saws) used to climb it regularly to be in solitude.

And I find myself reflecting back on how much Allah has really, truly blessed my life.  Everything happening at the right time, not earlier or later.  To be able to visit these sites, to be in these blessed places is such an honor, and even more so when you can recall the Seerah and the events that took place and connect them to these magnificent places.  It was truly an honor to be there this year, to go in a state when I had studied Hajj in detail at the institute, to be able to perform the rites of ‘Umrah and Hajj with knowledge, something that many, many sisters were regretful they didn’t have when they performed ‘Umrah and Hajj.  And in the end, SubhanAllah, how can express my gratitude to my Lord for such blessings, blessings which are like miracles in my life.

The next leg of the journey was approaching however, and that was the journey to the city of the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam), al-Madinah.  It was a trip I was dreading actually, because of what I had heard about the long bus trips to and from the city.  My husband was starting to come down with a very bad fever, and this would be just the beginning of his great trial during this journey.  Even I felt like I was coming down with something, but I had trust in my supplication to Allah when I drank ZamZam.

Al-Madinah—continued in Part Four.

Third floor view shortly after Fajr Salah

Rukn al-Yamani

At the outside rim of the Hateem

A nice morning view…

DH viewing a map in front of the Haram

Climbing Mt. ‘Arafah

The rain clouds I saw while on a visit to ‘Arafah

The area of ‘Arafah

The mountain of Mercy, Mt. ‘Arafah

Jabal an-Noor, right behind this Masjid

Location of the Cave of ath-Thawr

Streets clearing up just after Salat al-Jumu’ah

We were to drop our two daughters with my sister-in-law in Tacoma, WA.  We stayed there for just over a day, getting the kids settled in.  It was a tough moment for both of us because they had never been without us for even a short period of time.  I remember when I was giving my last Salaam to them, when I started making dua’a for them, my tears didn’t stop.  To my astonishment, I wasn’t the only one who was sobbing!  My husband and I both shed a few tears—not because we would miss them, because this was a small sacrifice we were making for Allah, but rather, it was for the feelings our girls were having—feelings of sadness.  Our tears could not be held back when we thought of their innocent hearts sad for our departure.

Nevertheless, one hadeeth consoled us constantly, no matter how much we missed them.  when the Hujjaj are standing in front of Allah, dusty, hungry, thirsty and tired and the Hujjaj say, “Labbayl wa sa’dayk, wal khayru kulluhu bi yadayk”…to which Allah (swt) responds and He (suhbanahu wa ta’ala) “boasts” to the Angels that are with Him and says, “Look My Angels, Look at My Servants who came to Me dusty and thirsty, asking Me for my Mercy and fearing my punishment. They have left their home, their wealth, and their children for Me. Witness Oh My Angels, that I have forgiven them“. [I didn’t get a chance to get the source of this hadeeth but heard it from my teacher. There’s a shorter version of this in Muslim and Tirmidhi]  And thus, peace filled our hearts as we were off to the airport.

My major worry about travelling was air sickness coupled with intense swelling in my feet.  alHamdulillah, the flight from Seattle to Frankfurt, Germany was not full, and I was able to put my feet up for a while.  The flight went smoothly, with no signs of motion sickness or swelling.  It wasn’t until the flight from Frankfurt to Jeddah that the case was quite the opposite.  AlHamdulillah ‘alaa kulli haal.  It was a nice sight to see a plane full of Hajjis, all proclaiming the Talbiyah.  The anticipation was growing once we could see Jeddah from above and were about to land.  I was full of excitement as expected, unlike my husband who knew what could be expected from the whole Saudi process looming ahead.

We entered the Hajj terminal to be warmly greeted by Saudis with Hajj, ‘Umrah, and Dua’a pamphlets.  I was really touched by their welcome.  It is a huge event that occurs in this country every year, extremely tedious, tense, and fast-paced.  It might even seem like a huge headache for them, but to see this welcome was so touching, welcoming you as the guests of Allah, helping you to perform one of the most important and essential rites of a Muslim in your life.

Next step was to wait for the immigration and customs process to begin.  AlHamdulillah we didn’t have to wait as long as I was told—up to 12 hours—and in no time we were lead through the doors to pick up our baggage.  When we finally got out, to have a bottle of water handed to you on such a hot night was truly a blessing!  And from this point forward, these little blessings catch your attention and you find yourself praising and thanking Allah frequently.

Now it was time to wait for the buses to arrive, and this by itself is a huge test because you have to wait, and you also don’t know how long you’ll be waiting.  Once you sit in the bus is not enough of a guarantee you’ll get moving anytime soon either, mind you.  But while we waited, alHamdulillah we were brought some dinner, had a chance to rest a bit before the journey ahead to Makkah.

Finally, the buses arrived, and we all packed in, excited and nervous at the same time.  Excited to see the Haram, which was for most of us (including myself) a first.  Nervous about how long it would take to get to Makkah, and all the processes involved on the way—getting our passports checked, head-counts, getting registered at the Mutawwif’s office, etc.  It was just after ‘Isha time there.  We had no idea we’d reach Makkah just before Fajr even though it’s technically only an hour’s drive from Jeddah to Makkah.

So the bus trip finally began and there were multiple stops along the way.  Food gifts by the Saudi government was a nice gesture, something I truly appreciated.  We were given small bottles of ZamZam water and snacks along the way.  We were hoping to reach the Haram in time to pray Fajr there, but such was not the case, and after we stopped at the Mutawwif’s office, we prayed Fajr at a nearby Masjid.  It wasn’t until after the Salah that I realized this was the first time I had prayed in a Muslim country!   The feel was different—while here in the west, Muslims struggle to come to the Masajid for prayer, it was different in that moment, in that subhanAllah, Salah is such an integral part of life and that to, at the Masjid.   I was grateful for the experience.

My health, however, was getting worse and worse.  Because of lack of sleep, I was getting a pretty bad headache, coupled with nausea and at this point, I really had to call upon Allah for strength.  Whenever I get into states like this, the worst thoughts come to my mind and I found myself making dua’a constantly.  When we finally got going again towards the Haram, I kept thinking of what it would be like to finally see the minerets of the Haram, and the thought itself brought tears to my eyes.  Even though it was still dark outside, I tried to get a glimpse of everything along the way, thinking about where the Prophet (sal Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) must have walked, how the city must have looked long ago, how the Quraysh must have gathered, the hardships those early Muslims faced.  It was truely an uplifting moment for me.  At one point, I saw glowing minerets, thinking it was the Haram :)  How silly of me though—but nevertheless, the sight of it brought tears to my eyes again.

We had finally reached our hotel, but my health would not allow me any peace of mind and I was in bad shape.  My husband took me to the lobby where I sat and rested until he got my room key and took me up to rest.  As soon as I reached my room, I realized I was the only one there since everyone in my room had gone to perform ‘Umrah.  However, with my health and state of mind at that point, I needed to rest.  I wanted to perform my first ‘Umrah with happiness, hope and enthusiasm and not be distracted by how I was feeling.  None of the medicines I brought with me really worked because I needed to sleep.  But I didn’t listen to my body at that time.  I showered and headed downstairs to meet my husband;  perhaps I needed to eat something to regain my energy.  However, that didn’t help as the mere smells of food were an extreme aversion.  I had to go back to my room and sleep.  Throughout the day, I would wake up, but as soon as I did, my headache would return back in full force and I took it as a sign that I wasn’t ready to get up yet.  Aside from waking up for prayer, I slept until ‘Isha time.

It was a weird feeling though.  From my hotel room, I could see the gates to the Haram and I was struck by awe.  I was finally here!  It felt like a dream and I still found it hard to believe.   This place is so full of history.  The magnificence of it all really jumps out at you from the walls of the Haram.  But I restrained myself until I was better because I wanted to absorb the entire experience of ‘Umrah…and seeing Allah’s house for the first time.

To be continued in Part Three.

Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem

I would have to say this trip was such a treat for me.  After a hectic past few years, to be invited by Allah as His guest was truly a gift and privaledge I could have never imagined.  We had actually made our decision to go for Hajj just about 1 month before we actually left for the journey.  Usually, with such short notice, complications are expected, but I have to say subhanAllah, from day 1, events had been facilitated in such a smooth way.  Many of the tests people go through when they embark on this journey never touched us—things like visas not coming in time, or tickets not being confirmed, or losing luggage, or being turned back at the airport, etc.

Having said that, when Allah gives you the invitation for Hajj, I cannot emphasize what a generous and loving Host Allah truly is.  Every step of the way, our needs were met in one way or another, and if some hardship fell into our paths, we were lead through swiftly and easily, as if the hardship was really no hardship at all, just a stumble along the way.  Whenever we made dua’a for something, it would happen—and when we merely wished for something to happen, it happened as well.  Reflecting on this, subhanAllah, I realized even the most generous and considerate host amongst us is nothing in comparison to our Lord, al-Kareem.

Our Hajj preparations began one morning sometime mid-October when I asked my husband, “Why don’t we go for Hajj this year?”  Because Hajj really was just around the corner, my husband casually replied, “Are you crazy?  It’s too late now;  it’ll be difficult to find a package now.”  After he said that, I also abandoned the idea, until one morning when my husband called from work telling me that he found some packages available….and if I was ready to go :)  Without hesitation, I said, “Yes, let’s do it!”

This was not the only surprise waiting for us, however.  For several nights, I had been having dreams of a possible pregnancy.  In fact, in one dream, I was having an ultrasound and I was just about to leave for Hajj!  In another dream, just before Fajr, I saw myself taking a pregnancy test and the result was a positive.  I immediately woke up after this and took a test, and subhanAllah, it came out positive!

Now why I had been having these dreams, only Allah knows, but SubhanAllah, I think perhaps it was a warning for me, because Hajj travel requires certain vaccinations, most if not all of them are unsafe for pregnant women.  One Friday, I was to go with my husband to the clinic to get our Meningitis shot, and it was Allah’s wisdom and planning, that my husband had a last-minute meeting at work he had to attend, and thus the  appointment for the vaccine was canceled.  This was the day before I found out I was expecting.   Once I found out, the dreams ceased.  alHamdulillah for everything.  This incident helped me to prepare a little bit more for this journey, preparations I wouldn’t have thought of otherwise.

This was to be my husband’s third Hajj since our marriage, and my first.  Last time he went, he didn’t receive his visa until he reached New York and it was handed to him at the airport!  But SubhanAllah, our visas arrived one day before we were to travel and the e-tickets had been confirmed. It is amazing also that it wasn’t just that things were made easy for me, but things were made easy for my husband as well.  Any complications and hardships he experienced previously were alleviated this time around.  For example, he always dreaded the stop in Aman, Jordan—and alHamdulillah, our itinerary had no stop in Jordan!   It was straight from Frankfurt to Jeddah.

All preparations for Hajj were made in due time.  Whenever we needed to buy something, it was amazing how we found people who lent us the same items.  We were to drop our children with my sister-in-law and that was a pretty smooth process as well.  SubhanAllah, everything from A to Z was taken care of and our hearts and minds were put at rest for the journey ahead.

Stay tuned for Part Two.

To illustrate it, a person may cut off relations with a family member and in doing so, that person will avoid anything to do with that famly member: they’ll move to a different city (and this has happened), they’ll change all their contact info so that this family member can never contact or find them (and this has happened), they’ll change jobs, change communities, basically cut themselves off from their previous lifestyle all so that they can avoid this family member. Sometimes, it gets so bad, that a family will refuse to go to the masjid, all because they want to avoid so and so whom they cut off relations with.

It’s really sad but it happens. The meaning of this hadeeth might have been really obvious to you all, but seeing this “cutting off” take place before my eyes I really understood the impact of Allah cutting off relations with you. It’s even more amazing how many people belittle this major sin as if it’s nothing and they hold grudges for years and years, until even death.

May Allah strengthen and have mercy on those who have families who have abandoned them, rejected them, and cut off relations with them. And may Allah guide those families to repentance and join the relations which were broken, Ameen.